Visitreno

[stan_allen]

I can't beat a "Drunken night spree", but I can report that Reno is still, in every important sense, "there".

Departed Monday for the usual two-night corporate deal, which, while annoying for its work obligation, is far better than nothing. Made a rental car reservation, and wound up with a Jetta - I hadn't driven a Volkswagen in years, possibly decades. Conclusion: probably wouldn't buy one, at the very least not an automatic. It seemed to have only two gears, "Go Slow", and "Go Fast", and somehow, the critical part of the speedometer was perfectly obscured by the upper part of the steering wheel.

I consider myself an average-height kind of guy, so I don't think this was some unusual development brought on by an out-of-spec human frame. This meant that to actually monitor my speed, I had to either crane my head up a tad, or down, or to the side - a dramatic move wasn't necessary, but I had to shift a bit just to see how fast I was going - and when you're on highway 80, trying to be as efficient as possible but not get pulled over, you've gotta be able to see your speedometer without extra effort! There were three or four opportunities along the way to get nailed by a Smokey, and so I adjusted the car's rating downward accordingly.

I give that car a five out of ten - serviceable, but nothing to write home about. However, conditions were good, with clear skies and dry roads; no overturned trucks carrying bee hives to swarm the unfortunate motorist, or other such shenanigans.

Made it into town around 4 p.m. or so, and checked into the Eldo. One good thing about going to Reno in the early part of the week is the favorable rates; an upper-floor room was $42.50 per night, I think. It ain't a suite, but it's got what you need, as well as that in-room coffee.

The coffee may be why I made the switch way back when from Silver Legacy to El Dorado, but another consideration keeps occurring to me: with the Silver Legacy's wacky eight-way building, you are at best getting a ninety-degree view from your room, whereas in any other building in Reno, including the diviest motel, you get a 180-degree view. Why would you accede to that if you didn't have to??

So with a while to go before dinner, it was time to see what action could be found at the Reno visitor's shrine, Cal-Neva. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Cal-Neva is an acquired taste, and no one should be surprised if you take someone there who immediately turns up his or her nose, and declares: "Yuck". And that person couldn't reasonably be blamed; the place does have a smell which connotes layers and layers of purported air freshener that's desperately trying to conceal the thousands and thousands of hours of grind action, sweat, tears, and blood. It's a smell that announces a unique type of purgatory, in which one is being entertained at the same time that one's life-blood is being slowly but surely drained.

But once you succumb to its unavoidable cheap thrills, you are a permanent member of its established club, doomed to wallow away your hours, budget, and liver while being catered to by a casino that knows no particular decade in time.

And to my delight, all was exactly as it ever has been. Personnel watched languidly as patrons came to grips with their newly-discovered loyalty to an establishment which they'd probably trash to their friends later on, but at which they were currently suckling at the teat of a low-level-yet-demonic bacchanalia. Supplicants who looked as though they'd never arrived nor left fed their slot masters, and a couple of newbies who were only just discovering the joys of intoxicated low-roller revelry awkwardly thrashed in the throes of their cheaply-acquired ecstasy. (the sensation, not the drug! At least, as far as I know...)

And joy of joys, there was plenty of room at the three-dollar Blackjack tables. With a tad more than the usual completely minimalist bankroll to fire away with, I proceeded to indulge a little session. Of course, the action was mostly up and then down; it really has been many a year since I can recall actually catching one of those winning streaks that produces a sizeable payoff.

After see-sawing long enough to experience some satisfaction, I left and turned my attention to dinner. The bottom line: ten dollars profit. Nope, nothing spectacular, but my motto has always been that a small win is better than any loss.

I employed the Brews Brothers for the task of dinner; their specialty pizzas are agreeable enough, and their craft beers are sufficiently crafty. But I gotta warn ya, be careful of mixing any Pale Ale with a pizza, or any food similarly tomato-esque; something about that combo was just not right on a previous trip....this time, I had the pizza, but with the "Cardoba" ale, or whatever it was called (it's the first one on the list.)

With the task complete, I took a secondary stroll through the casino area, and played a little bit here and there. I lost a dollar at a machine offering a Blackjack game for as little as a nickel a hand; the problem is that the odds are so awful that even playing perfect strategy pretty much grinds you down. I mean, you get the same payoff for a Blackjack as you do for any other winning hand, and there's no doubling or splitting - so it's a sucker's game, but it's fun to while away a little time with, as long as you're not making any serious wager.

Another slot machine was some sort of "Double Reel" deal, where I guess it's possible to line things up on both the right and left sides for some supposedly substantial payoff - but this never seemed to actually happen; only an occasional combination would pay enough to keep going, and then some bonus item of some sort gave me a 500-coin payoff that left me up a few dollars. Good enough for me; I called it a night, and retired reluctantly.

...Because it was up at 7:30 the next morning, and off to work - tsk! I at least tried to shampoo the smoky stench out of my hair, and look presentable. It's a bit of a drive to our offices - all the way back to Tahoe City, and many ask me why I bother staying an hour away in the opposite direction from which I came. Those who read this message board know better, of course...

So I did what I could for my corporate overlords, then finally got back to the serious task of recreation. Got back to Eldo about 6:30, and figured I should take care of dinner first.

In a rare stroke of genius, it occurred to me that eating at the buffet would cost about the same as the Brews Brothers, which turned out to be true, even though my "Player's Club" card was insufficient to earn me the two-dollar off discount. Well, no surprise there; I've probably wagered less than twenty dollars of my own money in the Eldo casino for the entirety of 2012 - I wouldn't give me a discount, either!

And the buffet turned out to be very useful, since I ate little but the prime rib. That's right, just made it a prime rib dinner, and came back for several plates of the same. Much has been made over the utility of this buffet, and one can see the merits: there's a breadth of selections, but not overwhelmingly so, there's a dessert section that is surprisingly non-desultory, and the overall appearance is appropriately clean and reassuring. I congratulated myself on my strategy, and then headed out to genuflect at the altar of the Cal-Neva.

My early-week good luck held, and there were open tables galore - where the previous night's action had been on a double-deck game, I scored a single-deck game this time. But it was, alas, to be more of the same rollercoastery; I seemed to be constantly skating under the ice, and what kept saving me were the odd hands, like the soft-fifteen double against a dealer low card that resulted perfectly in a dealer bust. A Blackjack or two here and there, but there was no real liftoff. I ended the session a mere two hands ahead, for a profit of six dollars. Again, it ain't much, but it's casino money, and coming out with more than when you went in provides a unique kind of satisfaction, no matter how meager the winnings.

And I recall another amusing detail about the previous evening's action; at one point during the double-deck game, a stereotypically intoxicated character wandered up to the table, and started laying out bets not only for his hands, but for those suited-pair or suited-blackjack bonuses, or whatever they are. Like the extraneous craps bets that rely on some highly dubious "Propositions", I avoid such things like the plague, in the assumption that the casino enjoys a far more advantageous position with these bets than does the player.

In any case, I think he did win the first or second of such bets, which produced much hooting and hollering on his part. He loudly announced his confidence of these bets on subsequent hands, but I noticed that those wins quickly dried up, and those multi-colored piles of chips he was pushing were rapidly vanishing. A couple more rounds of that, and he was gone. Easy come, easy go, once again. My diminutive and ultra-conservative betting never looked so good as he stumbled off in defeat.

And that's not to look down my nose at him; I frankly envied his revelry, but you've gotta play within your budget: it's the folks who don't understand that dynamic who wind up with their bankroll gone two hours into their trip, and I prefer to make sure my amusement will last.

It reminded me of my own initiation into the world of the Blackjack tables: I've probably told you this before, but for the benefit of those who forgot, or who never heard it, here's the quick version: Years ago, I met a friend in Vegas, and after some instruction from him regarding basic strategy, I meekly approached a table, and started my Blackjack career with some three-dollar bets, each of which produced heart palpitations.

A few minutes into this, and a fellow came up to the table, and exchanged three one-hundred-dollar bills for three one-hundred dollar chips, which he placed onto one bet. I can't remember whether my hands won or lost, but he lost three hands in a row, EACH of which he bet three hundred dollars on - at the third of these, he didn't even exchange for chips; he just put three one-hundred dollar bills on the betting spot of the table - and lost that hand, too. At the conclusion of these three hands, he jumped up and left to rejoin his friends, announcing to them as he approached that he "Wasn't doing too well over here". In under two minutes - possibly one! - this guy bet, and lost, nine hundred dollars. From that moment on, my sweating immediately ended, and with a proper scope of what was happening, I continued happily on with my three-dollar bets.

That first session, like so many good things in life, ended well: at the conclusion of my weekend, I had won a hundred dollars at Blackjack, and acquired a new and lifelong romance. Good times, and an extremely valuable initial lesson into betting and money management - thus my recollection of this anecdote after seeing this guy at the Cal-Neva lose what looked like a potentially painful sum in just a few hands.

Anyway, the major action of my trip came to an end, with yet another small-but-profitable win. I did wander around the slots back at the Eldo a little longer, and interestingly enough, ended up on that same dual-reel machine that I'd played the previous night - it continued to cough up tiny gains for a few dollars, and then gave me that same 500-bonus as it did before, for another few-dollars' profit.

If only there were time for more, but of course, the next morning, it was up, and back to regular life. The driving offered much more threatening clouds than Monday's excursion, but thankfully, no precipitation arrived. This will be my last foray to the region until Spring at the earliest, 'cuz I can't stand the whole chains-business, and for some reason, it's impossible to rent a four-wheel-drive vehicle at any Hertz in the area. Oh, well.

Other miscellaneous highlights:

-A newer slot machine, complete with its own special seats and absurdly-oversize display is called, "Michael Jackson" - the reels of the game look like the usual approximation-of-a-deck-of-cards-mixed-with-images-of-a-celebrity, and it was amusing to ponder the Jackson family's assuredly heated negotiations over profit splitting when the gambling-machine company approached them for the licensing.

-Encouragingly enough, I saw no "Super Single Deck" games at the Cal-Neva this time; they must have come to their senses. Back at the Eldo, that same scam seems to be all they have, with the exception of the higher-limit tables, which were assembled into a new home on the casino floor, I think earlier this year. It's really too bad that I can't play blackjack at the big three, but heck, it maintains my loyalty to the Cal-Neva.

-There were, for a change, very few panhandlers, and surprisingly, zero such misfits on that section of covered-over train track between Eldo and the old Fitz (the new "Commrow"). A slow night? Coincidence? Or are even the bums giving up? There was one fellow playing a guitar for spare change, and those who are at least playing a musical instrument, I'll give a pass to, even though he didn't seem particularly talented, to put it kindly.

-Commrow did at least seem to be "open" this time around - on previous visits (also Monday/Tuesday combos) they seemed to be closed for the entire early portion of the week; at least now, they are making a pretense of having those restaurant/bars on the ground floor serving people - did I see video poker in there this time? Hm, it's possible - perhaps that has something to do with its newfound effort at relevance?

-I meant to play a dollar at a blazing sevens machine in honor of that incredible photo gallery of wins provided by Mammoth, but I ultimately forgot to do so - perhaps it had something to do with the distraction factor of all those pretty lights, and sounds, and other details meant to appeal to the pleasure centers of the brain? You dismiss their seductive powers at your peril....

-Change of any noticeable kind elsewhere? Eh. Highway construction of the section of route 80 leading into central Reno appears to be complete. Sundowner is still boarded up and vacant. The old "Golden Phoenix" may or may not have condos now; I didn't look closely enough. "Old Reno" can still be observed.

-Apparently, good ol' John Lydon of PIL (formerly Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols) had just played a show in town; the local paper had an interview with him, which indicated he's still doing his thing. Makes me think I should perhaps give a more-recent PIL album a spin, but such efforts in the past have always seemed fruitless. The overall effect of their first album still seems to me to have been their best; what more could be done? Of course, he'd argue that I hadn't given their other works a decent listen, and maybe he's right, but it's hard to imagine that anything will resonate the way the thing did that you heard when you were seventeen. But PIL in Reno in 2012? That's kinda neat, you gotta admit.

Here's hoping for a timely return in the spring...

Thanks for reading!

[JD]

I have had occassion to use a thesaurus to WRITE a trip report.

This is the first time I needed one to READ a TR.

[stan_allen]

Perhaps this verbal diarrhoea needs to go on a diet.

One thing I completely forgot to do was visit that top-of-the-deck lounge in Cal-Neva, so that I could have a drink with the ever-present and legendary JD. Throwing down a two-dollar tip would surely have cemented my admission into the elite inner circle of...well, something or other.

I'll just have to put it on the list for next time, and JD, if you're ever actually there when I am, I promise to bring my thesaurus along so we can set fire to it in an ashtray.

[dfens]

I agree about the smell of the Cal Neva. My wife and I came to the conclusion that the Cal Neva smell is coming from the downstairs grill (though mixed in with some sweat, blood and tears from the players). It's the same similar stink that the Nugget Casino has. And the Nugget also has a grill near the playing area.

Some BJ side bets are countable including the Royal Match and Lucky Ladies side bets even with the horrible odds. You do risk getting identified as a counter if you're making big spreads the bets.

The Eldo buffet is a pretty decent meal for the price! Brews Brothers also has a pretty good happy hour prices on food.

Congrats on making money at the casino!!

[JD]

No... verbose and tautologous elocution is a Dickensonian regalement.

[stan_allen]

Now yer talkin'...we'll get that sky lounge drink one of these days, at which time we can wax eloquent on various and sundry topics...

That grill theory's a good one...but what about building #2, or the upstairs area? It seems to be the same, er, aroma everywhere one turns...

Or is it just part of the general and purple haze? Ah, the multitude of mysteries of the Cal-Neva...

[BC Dave]

Another literary classic from the "Master" himself! Sounds like a thoroughly enjoyable time.

[JD]

MY favorite sentence (which MY 7th grade English teacher would call me to the blackboard and MAKE me diagram):

"This meant that to actually monitor my speed, I had to either crane my head up a tad, or down, or to the side - a dramatic move wasn't necessary, but I had to shift a bit just to see how fast I was going - and when you're on highway 80, trying to be as efficient as possible but not get pulled over, you've gotta be able to see your speedometer without extra effort!"

-------------

Subject/ verb/ object

Ready? Begin.

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Just kidding.... a great read

[stan_allen]

You are all too kind - but drunken literary aspirations aside, the real prize still goes to dfens, not only for his prize-worthy all-nighter, but his candid and enthusiastic reporting of same. Would that we could all experience such highs!

But the diagramming will indeed be an irritatingly Herculean task, especially as your teacher, after forcing you through the painful process of detailing that sentence, will excoriate you for not pointing out its many, many flaws - I mean, really! Clauses upon clauses, modifiers dangling like portions of I-80 approaching the summit, and childishly amateurish attempts to shore up overloaded sentences with triumvirates of examples - just like this one!

Aargh!

[john]

It's so good to have you posting on the board again, especially with the help of this Firefox browser add-on. Without it, I understood about a third of your thoughts. On the up side, the mental exercise required to read your reports will help stave off the onset of Alzheimer's.

You're right about a small win being better than a loss, but who can settle for a small win? Let's win big like MammothGambler and buy drinks for the entire VR message board!

Keep those posts coming.

[Zydeco]

Well, I just copied and pasted several of your exquisite sentences about our cherished Cal-Neva to my throng of January 2013 Reno Travelers (FB). Let’s just say, it sets a mood. A damn good mood.

[remano]

Great TR. Thanks for sharing.

In response to "In under two minutes - possibly one! - this guy bet, and lost, nine hundred dollars....." the highest roller I ever saw was a guy at a private table, playing all six spots and betting $3,000 on each hand. If the dealer got a blackjack he stood to lose $18,000 in a single round. 'Course he won some too, and I know there are higher rollers in the private rooms, but I don't think I've lost $18,000 in my entire life, let alone one hand.

And as for panhandlers, I just got back from Seattle, and Reno doesn't even come close to the frequency of panhandlers you'll find there.

[BC Dave]

Us gamblers (especially when not winning, which is most of the time) can be a stingy lot.

[LilyJDragonfly]

What to say other than, "Bravo!!" Thanks for the excellent post! It's nice to see that Fortuna smiled down on you for visiting the beloved Cal-Neva....

[stan_allen]

John: Thanks, as always, for running such a lovely message board, and even encouraging the most ramblingly pretentious commentary. If I can be of service in slowing down the onset of Alzheimer's, I may just have helped serve a noble purpose - of course, it'll come at the cost of causing far many more cases of severe dyspepsia. Good thing Dyspepsia can be cured by drinking coke.

Zydeco, I'm always delighted to be able to help set the mood ahead of time. Let me know if you'd like customized haikus, or anything, such as:

Cal-Neva called me
through its smell, I was drawn in
I care not to leave

Remano, great reminder that there is always someone throwing away even more money than the last example. I have, in fact, seen whales, or at least miniatures of them, betting with far more dollars than I would ever consider dropping on a single bet, but the key is to see them early in one's gambling career - it's the best cure for beginner's hesitation!

Dave, I love how you're always ready with the perfect visual!

And Lily, thanks for the plaudits - I don't think I can match you in trip content, but I'm glad we can both post our homages to the shrine of Cal-Neva!

Now, let us all pray that all stays the same forever after...